Celibacy NOW Clancy Nacht &Thursday Eucl

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to do. I wasn t sure how good I d be at it. We re all trying to be better than we are.
Luke seemed so earnest, as shy as if he could read Marshall s mind, and the
sidelong glances Marshall couldn t help sending his way probably confirmed Luke s
suspicions. Marshall cleared his throat and gave Luke a wry smile. I don t think some
people try to be anything. They re drifting, letting life and themselves just happen.
You re making an effort. That inspires people. It inspires me.
That made Luke blush even more. I don t know how inspiring I am, but it s nice
of you to say. What would you teach the kids? I know Angela has been trying to teach
business principles, but she gets so busy. I don t have much of a head for that sort of
thing. I think I ll always work for someone. But you have your own business, don t
you?
Marshall usually responded to things like that casually, but something in the way
Luke said it gave him a surge of pride. He shifted his weight, leaning against the table
on one elbow and resting his chin on his fist as he gazed at Luke. He felt like a doe-eyed
teenager in one of those movies where the two outcasts shared a milkshake and bonded
over greasy french fries.
I could talk about the principles that helped me succeed in my long, hard journey
out of the hood and the mistakes I learned from. C.J. always tells me Marshall sat
straight and shrugged. Guess I was never that motivated to help strangers. Maybe I m
growin up.
Celibacy NOW 83
Luke smiled and met Marshall s gaze. I think you re very grown up. You made a
mistake, and you re man enough to admit it. Now you re trying to figure out who you
are. He shrugged. Maybe I m projecting a little. But I am really impressed that you
have your own business. It s a lot of responsibility; makes me feel like maybe I m not
grown up.
Maybe you just need someone to nurture that side of you. Marshall reached
across the narrow table to ruffle Luke s silky hair and then dropped his hand back to his
side, feeling awkward about the intimacy of the gesture. He tried to play it off with a
laugh and a grin. If you ever wanted help or advice or whatever, well, you know
where to find me. Anytime, Luke. I d come if you called, no matter what.
Nah. I mean, what I do, programming, it s not really the sort of thing you can do
on your own. You need testers and project managers. Some people do consulting, but
it s not really my thing. Luke looked into Marshall s eyes and reached across the table.
But it means a lot to me that you d offer to come when I called.
Marshall took Luke s offered hand without twining their fingers, worried Luke
would think it presumptuous, worried that the feeling of their digits tangling would be
too arousing.
He d been certain Luke perceived his gutter-mindedness, but the gentle look in
Luke s eyes and the tone of his voice seemed innocent. Marshall had a pang of
conscience, struggled with it, and then confessed against his better judgment.
I gotta be real with you, Luke. I still want you. Just because I can t have you
doesn t mean& Marshall trailed off and squeezed Luke s hand, self-conscious because
they were in public. It was crowded and noisy, but when he looked back into Luke s
eyes, the rest faded away. If the only friends you had to choose from were the ones
who didn t want you, you wouldn t have many. I m not here for a piece of you. I just
don t know how to stay away.
84 Clancy Nacht & Thursday Euclid
Luke s hand tightened on Marshall s, and he pressed his lips together. His
exhalations came out long and slow, and Marshall wasn t sure if the man was going to
bolt or be sick.
Then Luke asked, But do you like me, Marshall? Do you really like who I am?
Because I do really like you. I just don t know if I can move past everything.
You don t need to do anything, sweet boy. Marshall lifted Luke s hand to his
lips and kissed the knuckles gently. He searched Luke s eyes as he spoke. I do like you.
I wish I hadn t sabotaged what we had going on. I own that I acted a fool. I accept the
consequences, a ight? I m here now cause I wanna know you. I want your influence in
my life. You re so good to your friends, and even if it s not& I could use a friend like
you.
Luke s expression softened until finally he was smiling. I had a feeling about you.
I still want to get to know you. While the voice sounded shy, under the table, Luke s
feet teased Marshall s. Nothing obvious, just making their presence known. I m just
sort of& I don t know. I might be seeing someone.
Yeah, I figured. Marshall s guts churned at hearing the words, no matter how
long he d been bracing for them. All the heart went out of his smile, but he bumped his
foot against Luke s calf to reassure him. Was just a matter of time before Eric made a
move so obvious even your sweet self noticed.
Marshall winced at the pain in his chest; he d had to close his eyes to get the
words out. His pride stung, but pride was worthless. Pride got him in this mess; maybe
humility would get him out. I wanna be in your life, Luke, even if I sit the bench. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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