Diane Salvatore Benediction

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he still would ask you.
Anne, Grace said, barely containing her anger.
Anne yanked some dresses sharply along the rack. You know,
a hundred girls would be dropping dead if Glen was pining after
them the way he s pining after you.
Maybe I don t want what a hundred other girls want. Or a
thousand or a million. Their wanting it can t make me want it.
And believe me, I ve tried.
Benediction 153
Maybe you haven t tried hard enough. Anne took an aimless
swipe at the rack of glittering, glossy gowns. Maybe you expect
too much. I mean, what do you think? That you and Glen are
going to get along like you and me? That he ll always, you know,
Anne said, her voice tight with exasperation, be able to tell
you exactly how he feels, or know exactly how you feel, the way
you and I, or any best girlfriends, can? That he ll see things the
way we do, or won t ever do or say something typically stupid,
like guys do? I mean, grow up. It s not always going to be like a
pajama party with the girls when you re with a guy.
A cacophony of impassioned rebuttals swirled in Grace s
head, but she was stunned silent. Anne was embarrassed by
her, she could tell. Are you through? she managed finally, and
turned away from the racks of sequins and spaghetti straps and
chiffon dolman sleeves.
Wait, Anne said, her hand firmly on Grace s arm. I just
miss you, that s all. I just wish& . She looked down at the floor.
Grace took a few deep breaths before she had the nerve to
speak. I know, she said. Me too.
So, Father Frank said, leaning back into his chair and folding
his arms across his chest. He had grown visibly more comfortable
during their recent visits as Meg and Grace continued to assure
him that the physical element of their friendship had become
less important. But as he grew more at ease, Grace became more
agitated. The truth was the exact opposite, and there seemed
something profoundly reckless about so systematically deceiving
a priest.
Today I thought we d talk a little bit about marriage, Father
Frank said, oddly cheerful about his subject, Grace thought, since
it was something forbidden to him, too. Do you think you d like
to be married one day? Let s start with you, Grace.
Grace folded and unfolded her hands while steadfastly
avoiding Father Frank s inquisitive stare. The truth crouched
somewhere in the corner of her mind and she suddenly didn t
trust herself to say the right thing. What she wanted to tell
154 Diane Salvatore
him was that she thought of marriage all the time, and if being
married meant being with the person you loved most in all the
world, then how dare anyone tell her she wasn t allowed to marry
Meg?
I do, Meg said, interrupting her thoughts. I want to be
married.
Father Frank looked away from Grace reluctantly. And what
do you imagine that life being like?
Meg glanced at the ceiling as a sly smile crept up her face.
Oh, I see myself in my own house, where my parents can t
tell me what to do, and I see a baby in a bassinet in the living
room, and I m in the kitchen heating up a bottle and the sun s
coming in the window. And just then the phone rings, and it s my
husband Meg said, addressing Grace directly now calling
from work just to say he loves me.
Uh huh, uh huh, Father Frank said, rubbing his jaw. And
you, Grace?
Her heart raced, as if she were perched at the top of a roller
coaster before it nose-dived down a steep incline. I don t think
it s a good idea, she said finally, looking up to see Meg blanch, to
fantasize about marriage unless you ve got somebody specifically
in mind you think you d be able to do it with. She paused but
Father Frank made no move to speak. Inching forward in his
chair, he seemed genuinely interested. I think it makes people
impatient and unrealistic, Grace added.
Father Frank s eyebrows rose markedly. Do you think your
parents have a good marriage, Grace?
Yes.
And what do you mean when you say that?
I didn t say it, you did, Grace thought irritably. Just that they
belong together, she said, carefully keeping her tone polite. Just
that they chose to be together and nobody kept them apart and
they re still happy about it.
Father Frank nodded solemnly and Grace saw Meg, out of
the corner of her eye, fidgeting nervously. I want to say a few
things about marriage that I tell couples who come to see me for [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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